Strong Towers Tumbling
by Rosalyn Hart
Summary: Susan had always been strong. Her life centered on caring for her siblings, her kingdom and of course her husband. Caspian valued her strength, she knew he did, but sometimes when he looked at her she knew he suspected the truth.
1. Chapter 1

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Susan had always been strong. Her life centered on caring for her brothers and sisters, and of course, her husband. Caspian valued her strength, she knew he did, but sometimes when he looked at her she knew he suspected the truth.

Chapter 1

Susan smiled as she entered the stables. She loved the horses. She loved their smell, their strength, and most of all; she loved the feel of their powerful muscles moving beneath her as they carried her across fields and through forests. This was why her morning ride was one of her favorite activities, besides of course, spending time with her husband and siblings.

She sighed softly as she prepared the saddle for her mare, waving a stable hand away. She preferred to do it herself. This was one of the few times during the day that she was allowed to be free from her political and family duties. She loved being the queen, Caspian's wife, and she loved participating in council meetings, arranging necessities around the castle, managing the household and her siblings, and being a dutiful wife. But sometimes, even she needed time alone.

This was why she sighed at the guard waiting for her by the door, ready to escort her through the surrounding forest on her ride. She really just needed some time alone, but Caspian and Peter had insisted that if she wanted to go riding without them, she needed an escort. _It is still too dangerous to go alone, especially for the queen._ Susan mouthed Peter's words sarcastically, pouting in frustration. Still, at least they allowed her to go at all.

Mounting her horse, she smiled gently at the guard as he followed her out of the stables and to the castle gate, keeping his own horse a few feet behind her to give her at least the illusion of privacy. It wasn't his fault her husband and brother were so protective of her; there was no need for him to suffer her annoyance.

* * *

Susan laughed in pure joy as she raced over the fields and orchards surrounding the castle, her mare making great strides across the land. Heading into the forest, she smiled at the sound of the guard trying to follow her. No she wouldn't try to lose him. That would only get him and her into trouble. But she did feel a sort of perverse glee when she heard him and his horse crashing gracelessly through the brush, trying to keep up with her.

The wind was fierce that morning, flaying her hair and dress around her but she loved it. The feel of a strong wind on her face was one of her favorite feelings in the entire world. She turned her mare deeper into the forest, slowing to a trot as she took in the morning air and scenery.

Mind turning inwards, she thought about what she needed to do that day. There was the celebration for Lucy's birthday to be prepared, Caspian's shirt's all needed mending (his shoulders had growth incredibly in the last three months that they had been married and now none of his shirts fit him properly), there was the council meeting this afternoon—she groaned inwardly at that. How she hated those council meetings. Very little ever seemed to get resolved, because members of the council could never agree on anything. It was incredibly frustrating to know that things needed to be done and decided for their people, yet a group of old men were always arguing about every detail. On more than one occasion she had lost her temper with the council members and needed to excuse herself. Oh no, she would never show them her temper—she needed to remain a wise and gentle queen for their people, but she swore sometimes that she would lose it, disband them all and tell them they could go to hell.

She smiled to herself when she remember how she had told Caspian what she thought of the council members after one particularly horrible session. He had laughed gently and taken her in his arms, calming her fury immediately with his touch. _Your love for your people is one of the most amazing things about you my dearest, but your strength of will and your ability to hold your tongue is even more impressive._ She let a small laugh loose at the memory.

A strange sound interrupted her thoughts. Curious, Susan looked back at her guard in question, bringing her hand to her throat in surprise and gasping when she saw the arrow protruding from his chest. His eyes were wide and he started to open his mouth to say something when another arrow found its way through his throat. He let out a bloody gurgle and toppled backwards from his horse as Susan cried out, unconsciously reaching towards him.

She shrieked as an arrow pierce through her outstretched hand and retreated, turning her horse towards the forest where the arrows had come from. Blood dripped from her hand as she scanned the forest, trying to ignore the pain as her thoughts raced. Who would be attacking them? There had been peace in the land now for nearly a year and she didn't believe that any of the surrounding lands were openly hostile towards Narnia.

"Who are you?" She shouted. "How dare you attack the queen of Narnia! Show yourselves!" Be strong, be brave, you are a queen.

She gulped, but sat straight atop her mare as twelve, maybe fifteen dark and dirty looking men stepped out of the forests' shadows. She glanced around, noting several notched bows trained on her and the rest of the men with swords, daggers, and clubs in their hands. Why hadn't she brought any weapons with her? She thought wildly. Oh yes, because Narnia was at peace and after all she had an escort…

"Who we are is none of your business, bitch!" A large man growled at her, coming closer and grabbing the reins of her horse. "Now you're coming with us and you'd better not put up a fight or we'll put another arrow through your pretty flesh." Some of the men laughed at that.

Susan glanced around. She really had no chance of escaping. She had no weapons, this horrible man was holding her horse, and she was wounded. Thoughts of her hand made her grimace, it was throbbing horribly now, although the heavy bleeding had turned into a trickle.

"Sorry ma'am, does your hand hurt?" The stranger smiled up at her with a deceptively creepy voice. She glanced at him and before she knew what was happening he had grabbed her hand and wretched the arrow from it, causing fresh blood to gush from the wound. A scream echoed off the forest and Susan gasped to make herself stop. The men laughed again and she gritted her teeth. She needed to have a higher tolerance for pain. She had always though so and now seemed as good a time as any to practice. With effort she put the pain from her hand out of her mind and glared at the stranger.

"I will ask you again, barbarian. Who. Are. You." Her words were ground out as she glared fiercely at the man. He looked surprised at first, but then he glanced at the other men and smiled.

"I do so like it when they fight." Grabbing her leg, he pulled with immense strength and yanked her from her seat. She crashed to the forest floor with a grunt, shocked briefly. She had never fallen from a horse before. It had never seemed so high…

She bit back a scream as his meaty hand reached down and pulled her up by her hair. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, she chanted to herself as he wretched her neck towards him at an impossible angle.

"We know who you are queen Susan the whore." He said spitting into her face, his putrid breath gagging her. "And we're going to have a good time with you, while you still live." He paused, thinking. "And most likely afterward too."

His laughter was the last thing she heard as something struck the back of her head and the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Chapter 2

"As soon as you find something, I want you to report back to me." Caspian said, dismissing the head of his personal guard. The centaur bowed and left the throne room, calling to his men to begin the search.

Caspian glanced briefly at his siblings and sat down on the throne, leaning forward and placing his head in his hands. Why had he let her go without him?

"Caspian, I'm sure they'll find her quickly. She probably just lost track of time." Lucy said gently, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Caspian gave her a small smile.

"Thank you Lucy, but I cannot help feeling that something is wrong. She's never been out this late before—she even missed this afternoon's council meeting and that is not like her." He said, eyebrows furrowing as he glared at the floor.

"Lucy's right, Caspian." Edmund said. "You know her; she's probably out picking flowers or something equally girly." Caspian smiled again at his comment, although they both knew that Susan was anything but girly.

"Thank you my friends, but we shall just have to wait until the guards return with news." He said, glancing at Peter.

Only Peter had offered no comfort when Susan's apparent disappearance became known, waiting it seemed like Caspian, to see if they needed to worry.

* * *

"My lord!" The centaur shouted, bursting into the throne room. Dusk had begun to creep into the room and all four occupants jumped at his entrance.

"What did you find?" Caspian practically shouted, jumping down from the throne and racing to the centaur's side. He had been unable to eat or distract himself since learning of her disappearance and had been anxious to learn something, anything to get him into action.

Panting, the centaur straightened, looking his king in the eye. "My lord, I'm sorry but the news is not good." Caspian paled slightly, but nodded for him to continue. "We found the body of the guard who was escorting her in the forest."

Caspian heard Lucy gasp, but ignored the sound and listened attentively as the centaur continued. "We believe by the tracks and the…" He hesitated, looking at the king. "… blood on the ground that the queen was wounded and carried off by about a dozen humans." He bowed his head slightly as Caspian blinked at him briefly before his expression turned murderous.

"What?" He shouted. "Get my armor; alert the castle guards, we are going after her!" He raged. Susan. Susan was gone. Someone had hurt her and taken her away from him. Peter's grip on his arm broke his thoughts and he turned to the other man angrily.

"Caspian, I agree that we should ride out immediately to save her, but let's think about this rationally." Peter murmured clutching the king by his shoulders as if afraid he would run away.

Caspian growled under his breath but stood still, listening to the former high king Peter as he spoke gently to him. "First we need to scout the area and see if we can track them. Bringing in a huge group of men will probably only spook the men who took her, assuming they are men, into sneaking away or worse." Caspian paled at the idea of the "worse" that the men, creatures, whoever that had taken his queen could do if they learned that they were coming.

Caspian nodded weakly. "You are right Peter, thank you. You and I along will fly by griffon to the place the centaurs found and scout the area, tracking the kidnappers if possible."

"Hang on a minute Caspian, I want to come too, she's my sister as well!" Edmund objected.

"I understand Edmund, but I need you to stay here and ready a small army of men to come help us rescue her if needed. I'm not sure what the situation is, but we may need you to lead an army in the rescue. Can you do that for me?" Caspian said kindly, understanding Edmund's impatience and desire to save his sister. Edmund nodded mutely aware of the wisdom in this plan, but still unhappy about the arrangements.

"And Lucy," Caspian said, cutting her off as she started to open her mouth to protest. "I need you to stay here and ready the medical wing for when we bring Susan back. We know for sure that she is wounded, but not how badly—I need you to be ready to help her when she returns."

Lucy nodded sadly as well and Caspian turned to the centaur who had brought him the horrible news. "Thank you noble centaur for your help in this matter. After you tell Peter and myself the location of the guards I'd like you and your men to stay and help Edmund with the preparations."

As the centaur began telling them the location Caspian's mind raced wildly, only half hearing him. Susan. Gentle, strong, beautiful Susan. Who had dared to hurt her and take her away from him? His blood boiled at the thought of her being hurt and kidnapped and his eyes turned cold as he and Peter made their way to the armory.

* * *

Susan became aware of herself slowly. She was incredibly uncomfortable and at first that confused her. Where was Caspian? She tried to reach over to his side of the bed but something wouldn't let her.

Opening her eyes, she nearly groaned aloud as the memories came flooding back to her. Her ride through the forest. That poor, poor guard. Those horrible men and her injured hand. She tried to move again and was surprised to notice that she was hanging by her arms, upright between two trees. Looking around herself, she slowly realized through the hazy light of dusk that she was in some sort of camp, with tents and bonfires around her. She also noted the men who had captured her yesterday sitting and talking or standing around the campfires. Moving slowly so she didn't attract their attention, she stood on her feet, feeling the relief in her shoulders as she took her weight off them. Her hand throbbed horribly and she couldn't make a fist, but it seemed that the blood had stopped flowing for the moment.

Glancing down at herself, her eyes widened when she realized that they had removed her dress and corset. She was nude from the waist up and her light underskirt shifted in the breeze as she shivered in the cold evening air. The indignity of being tied between two trees half naked both humiliated and angered her. How dare they do this to her? She frowned as she wondered what had happened to her dress. It was silly to think of that now, but it was her favorite because Caspian had given it to her. Caspian. Oh Aslan, did he know she was missing by now? Was he looking for her?

"Well boys, it looks like tonight's entertainment has finally decided to wake up." A man said loudly from behind her. Susan stiffened, fighting not to turn around and look at him.

"What's the matter queenie? Don't like being so vulnerable?" He whispered harshly in her ear, reaching a hand around to grab her breasts roughly. She gasped at his coarse touch and the men near the fires gathered around in front of her, watching and laughing at her. She had never felt so humiliated.

"Let's show the queen of Narnia how we treat whores in Telmarin!" He shouted and the men cheered. Telmarin? These men were Caspian's people? But where did they come from? Why were they doing th—Her thoughts abruptly scattered as she felt a lashing pain in her back and heard the crack of a whip.

In shock, her eyes wide, she gasped as the whip struck her again and again, finally tearing screams from her throat. The men laughed when she screamed and jeered at the tears streaming down her face. She thought briefly of Caspian; how she must be strong for him and not let this ruin her. But then the blood started to trickled down her back and legs and she sagged in her bonds as lash after lash was struck against her and her strength started to give out.

* * *

Caspian glared at the ground as he paced around the small clearing where they had found the guards body.

Peter watched his friend walk around angrily, continuously returning to the place where they had found spots of Susan's blood and the tracks from her horse. He shook his head. Caspian's rage and sorrow were completely understandable, but he feared for his friend nonetheless.

Pausing, Caspian knelt where her blood was drying on the ground. His fingers reached out and touched the cool, sticky liquid. Susan's blood. He raised his fingers before his face and stared at the red stain on his fingers. His poor wife had been hurt. Where was she? Was she still in pain? How deeply he wanted to comfort her, take her pain away. But she wasn't there and the only thing he could do was to find her captors and exact revenge for what they had done.

"Caspian." Peter said, startling him. Peter looked sadly into his friend's hopeless eyes. "I think I've found the tracks—it looks like they were heading deeper into the forest; west I believe."

Caspian's expression turned hard again. "Let's go."

* * *

She was dazed as they dragged her through the campsite. She no longer heard their laughter and catcalls, no longer felt the sharp pain in her back or the blood drenching her legs. She couldn't even recoil when they randomly grabbed her breasts, bruising and twisting them until she cried out.

Entering a large tent, she blinked at the change in lighting.

"Take the carpets off the ground I don't want her blood soiling them." Someone said and two men quickly rolled up the plush carpeting, revealing bare earth underneath.

Someone turned her around and pushed her to the ground on her back, so that the dirt and leaves ground into her shredded flesh and she screamed in agony. Laughter reached her ears as she slowly came back to herself and she blinked up at the face of the man who had pulled her from her horse.

"Welcome to the true Telmarin kingdom my dear queen." He spat at her, his black beard raining bits of dirt and crumbs down on her as he spoke.

"What?" She managed to croak out blearily.

He laughed at her again. "Foolish woman, you didn't honestly think that all of the Telmarin people believed in the disgusting fairy tale kingdom your pathetic husband had set up did you?" He leered at her, stroking a hand roughly across her breast.

She blinked at him in confusion. "We are the true Telmarin kingdom, madam, and I am the true Telmarin king. We live here in the forest awaiting the day when we can re-capture our castle from that whelp Caspian X." He said.

Her anger faired at his words. With all her strength she glared at him "You are a piece of shit and so is your supposed kingdom." Growling, at her words, he punched her across the face and she gasped as blood poured from her nose.

"You'll regret those words, you silly girl." He said. Susan stared at him in horror as he removed his pants and lay down on top of her.

"NO!" She shrieked, her strength returning to fight him. He laughed and punched her again, this time in the stomach so that she coughed and writhed and couldn't stop him when he violated her.

She screamed and cried and beat against him weakly with her fists as he raped her, begging, pleading for him to stop. Caspian. She belonged to Caspian! They couldn't have her, she was his! Her desperate thoughts raced through her mind as he tore into her, the pain and humiliation finally making her close her eyes, go limp and retreat into herself.

"That's right, whore. Stop fighting me." He grunted as he finished and pulled himself from her, leaving her sprawled on the ground, bleeding and dazed. "You've still got a lot of work to do."

He smiled as he left the tent and another entered, leering down at her as he climbed onto her roughly.

* * *

"Caspian, I'm sorry but we have to stop for the night." Peter called wearily to his friend.

Caspian turned from where he was studying the ground, glaring at Peter. "No! We have to find her!"

Peter sighed. "I know, Caspian, but we cannot even see the tracks anymore—if we keep walking in the dark like this we may lose the trail." He was heartbroken for his friends' pain, not to mention his own worry, but he was no fool.

Caspian thought for a moment before nodding, grudgingly. He didn't want to rest. He didn't want to sleep. He wanted to find his wife and bring her safely home.

As he stared up at the stars visible through the canopy, trying but failing to get any sleep, Caspian thought of his queen. _Caspian, you never seem to think I'm strong enough to handle anything_. She'd said to him once. He had of course denied this, but rather assured her that he simply didn't want her to have to be strong. He wanted to be strong for her. But as he lay there, knowing that she was out there somewhere in the hands of her kidnappers, he thought of her strength and hoped she was fairing alright.


	3. Chapter 3

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Chapter 3

Susan had a lot of time to think that night. Once the last man had raped her and they had left her bleeding and alone in the tent, she couldn't sleep. It wasn't the pain that stopped her from resting although that was certainly a factor, it was her thoughts. Her whirling, racing thoughts.

How could she face Caspian after this? Would he think she was a whore? Would he think she was ruined? No…she knew he wouldn't blame her. He would forgive her, although he would think that there was nothing to forgive.

No. He would blame himself. Blame himself for not being there for her. For letting this happen to her. For not rescuing her sooner. Because he was coming to rescue her. She knew he was. As surly as she knew her own name.

She groaned as she tried to turn over, thanking Aslan that from the waist down she seemed to have gone numb, and that although she knew her back was smeared with blood and dirt, her wounds had started to close—just enough that fresh blood only ran with jerky movements. Rolling onto her side, she thought about her husband. What would he do when he found her?

She looked around the tent, trying to locate something to cover herself with. Miraculously, she saw her dress lying in a heap next to a table and chair. Crawling over to it, she smiled when she saw it, remembering the day Caspian gave it to her. _You always look so lovely in blue. I bought you this to match your beautiful eyes._ He'd said. Then he's kissed her. She tried to remember his kiss, but it eluded her, remaining just on the edges of her memory. All she could seem to remember were the few harsh kisses her captors had given her as they raped her.

Shaking her head, she held her dress to her and thought about what would happen when he found her. She didn't want him to see her like this. Half-dress, bloodied and bruised, obviously having been violated—his heart would break and he would blame himself. She didn't want that.

Resolutely, she slowly and carefully put on her dress. There were some tears here and there from where the men had roughly pulled it off her. She ignored them and continued dressing, being very careful not to reopen the wounds on her back. Luckily this dress had a high enough back that she didn't believe any of the blood or dirt on her was visible when she wore it and it was thick enough that unless they completely reopened, her blood shouldn't seep through.

Unfortunately, she didn't see her corset anywhere. No matter, with her back wounds she would never be able to get it on. Unable to locate any water, she used a piece of cloth to wipe the blood from her face and to clean up the mess the men had left when they'd raped her. Crawling slowly to a chair she lifted herself into it, wincing as her wounds pulled and she became acutely aware of the damage they had done raping her. But she would not face them lying on the ground like a dog. She would face them like the queen she was. She sat up straighter, folding her hands in her lap, ignored the pain, and waited for the dawn.

* * *

Caspian and Peter crouched behind a large boulder and observed the campsite. Peter had scouted around the perimeter and counted only about fourteen men—no match for an army, but still too many for just the two of them.

"Well, we know where they are now; we could go back and get Edmund's troops." Peter whispered, eyes scanning the campsite.

"Peter, by the time we do that she'll have been with them three days! I think it is too long, I can't leave her in their hands another day." Caspian whispered back furiously.

"We can't take them Caspian, what do you suggest we do?" Peter replied, sorrowful eyes turned towards his friends.

"I have an idea. It's the oldest trick in the book, but it just might work with these buffoons." Caspian grinned darkly. Peter blinked at him, but smiled, hoping they could pull whatever Caspian had in mind off.

* * *

When the men entered the tent that morning and saw Susan sitting there in her dress, they had laughed so hard she scowled. But never mind them, they had come to bring her some water and a little food which she eagerly consumed, unsure when she would get a chance to eat again.

Now she continued to sit, waiting for the leader to come in and either beat her or rape her again. It wasn't a pleasant prospect, but at least she had regained some of her dignity and she vowed to meet him proudly when he came.

"I see that you are feeling better this morning your Majesty." He chuckled darkly as he entered the tent.

Susan didn't answer him; instead she raised her chin and looked away. He smiled.

"You know what we're going to do with you?" She didn't answer, so he leaned in closely, breathing into her ear. "We're going to keep you around a few days to rape you, beat you, and torture you beyond recognition. Then we're going to kill you and send your head to his Majesty king Caspian."

Susan's pulse sped up as she listened to him, fighting to keep her face blank. Growling at her lack of reaction, the man grabbed her wrist and twisted it sharply. Susan gasped in pain as she heard delicate bones snap, screaming when he twisted it further.

He grinned as he released her, allowing her to cradle her broken wrist. Suddenly another man entered the tent.

"What is it?" The leader barked harshly.

"Sorry sir, but the horses are escaping!" He said frantically. Growling, the leader cast Susan one last glare before following the man outside to help in the recovery.

Susan groaned as she held her wrist, allowing a tear to escape her tightly closed eyes and to flow down her face. When a hand reached out and brushed it away, she jumped like she had been burnt. Opening her eyes with a glare she gasped at Caspian's concerned face.

"Susan." He whispered gently.

Susan stared at him a moment, unsure if she was dreaming when he reached out and brushed her hair back with his hand. That small touch brought her out of her stupor and it was all she could do not to break down completely.

"Caspian!" She gasped.

"Are you alright, my love?" He whispered.

"Yes." She lied.

"Can you run?"

"Yes." She whispered, relief evident in her tone.

Kissing her gently, he grabbed her hand and led her out of the tent and away from where the men were trying to capture the renegade horses. It was surprisingly easy. Susan wasn't really paying any attention however, part of her mind focusing on the back of Caspian's beautiful head as he led her away from camp to where Peter waited with three stolen horses, while the other part of her mind focused on not screaming and crying with the pain of standing and running in her condition.

"Peter." She whispered when they reached her brother, his arms enveloping hers in a quick hug.

"Susan, are you alright?" He asked gently.

"I'm a little worse for wear but I'll live." She smiled bravely. Caspian smiled, proud of his wife's stamina.

"Can you ride? We must hurry away before they discover you are missing."

"I believe so."

"Then we'll be off…we need to take a longer route home, through the river so they don't pick up our trail. Will you be able to make it that far or do you need medical attention now?" Peter asked her seriously.

Susan blinked. Of course she needed medical attention now, but she wasn't about to worry them.

"I'll be fine, Peter—I believe my wrist is broken, but that hand was already wounded, so I'll just ride with my other. Don't worry, let's go." She stated, heading towards the horses.

Caspian and Peter exchanged a glance, but decided not to question it, the need to be away foremost in their mind at this point.

Susan waited until they were both distracted with mounting their own horses before she mounted hers, knowing that she wouldn't be able to keep a grimace off her face. But it worked perfectly, and neither of the men seemed to notice her pain as they raced towards the river and their home.

* * *

After hours of riding, Susan knew she wasn't going to make it. Caspian had stayed close to her for a while, but after assuring himself that she was okay, he'd fallen back to guard the rear of the group while Peter took the lead. They were still about three hours away from the castle and night was beginning to close in. At least there had been no signed of her captors.

But Susan was fading fast. Sometime during the ride she had obtained a fever—most likely the wounds on her back were infected. Her wounded wrist and hand throbbed constantly and she was certain that she had begun to bleed between her legs again—but she didn't want to stop, she didn't want to appear weak. She wanted to be strong until she got to the castle, until Caspian was away and didn't see her pain. But she couldn't. She just, just couldn't…

Caspian gasped as he saw his wife beginning to fall from her horse. Kicking his mount furiously, he managed to catch her before she left the saddle completely.

"Peter!" He called, causing the other man to turn around and return to them when he saw Caspian holding Susan in her saddle. She was barely conscious.

"Susan? Susan, what's wrong?" Caspian asked, grabbing her around the shoulders to steady her some more. Her cry of pain startled him and he shifted his arms so he wasn't touching her back anymore. Peter road up and felt her face, gasping at the heat.

"Caspian, she has a fever, let's get her to the other side of the river and we'll take a look at her." Peter said, helping Caspian steady Susan so her horse could cross the river. Caspian nodded, shocked that his Susan was so sick. Why hadn't he noticed?

When they got to the other side of the river, Susan was completely unconscious and they had to lift her off her horse and to the ground. Luckily, in their haste and concern, neither of them noticed the blood staining the saddle where she had sat.

"Put her on her stomach, I want to see her back." Caspian ground out. He moaned as they laid her down and he noticed spots of dark blood seeping through her gown. "Oh no, why didn't she say anything?" Peter just shook his head.

Gripping the fabric in his hands, Caspian tore the back of her gown away and shuddered at what he saw. Bloody red welts caked with dirt criss-crossing her once perfect back.

"We need water to wash them out." Peter said quietly, getting up to walk to the river.

Caspian nodded mutely and didn't try to stop the tears that leaked out of his eyes. "Susan, Susan why didn't you tell us they did this to you?" He whispered, leaning down to kiss her temple gently.

Peter brought back the water and they set about washed the blood and dirt from her back. At some point Susan came awake with a scream, trying to crawl away from them, but Caspian grabbed her and held her in his arms as she sobbed, clinging to him while he whispered quiet words in her ear and Peter finished cleaning her wounds. When it was finished, she was unconscious again, and Peter bathed her forehead in a cold cloth to bring down her fever.

Caspian was in tears, unable to look away from her pained face.

"Caspian, we need to keep moving. Do you think you can carry her while you ride?" Peter asked gently, gathering their things.

"Of course." He whispered and when they continued their journey he clutched her to the front of him and wondered why she didn't tell them about her back. He smiled sadly when it occurred to him and he looked down at her sleeping face. Dear Susan, you don't have to be so strong around me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Chapter 4

The remaining journey back to the castle was torture for Caspian. He clutched Susan's body to him fiercely as his mount raced across hills and meadows towards the towers in the distance. Why had this happened to her? Who were those men? Why had he let her out of his sight?

He nearly wept as he thought of her pain, the horrible lashes marking her back and her ruined hand, curled protectively against her stomach. But then the rage would return and he would battle with himself to remain calm and to not turn around and slaughter those men who had taken her, abused and hurt her. Thoughts of her pain turned his mind to sorrow once more and the torturous, emotional cycle continued.

* * *

Lucy gasped and alerted the guards when she saw Peter and Caspian riding home in the distance, Susan's body wrapped protectively in Caspian's arms. Racing down to the courtyard to meet them, she worried about how hurt her sister was and thought about the cordial she had been given on their first trip to Narnia. Its healing nectar had been used up long ago and even though they had saved a little for a true life-or-death situation, Edmund's riding accident last winter had used the remaining drops.

"Oh Aslan, What happened?" She cried, watching Caspian carefully dismount with an unconscious and bloody Susan in his arms.

"She was kidnapped by a group of men…" Peter answered, unwilling to talk about the abuses she had obviously faced. Lucy turned to Caspian briefly, but he didn't say anything—he just stared at Susan with a mixture of sorrow and anger on his handsome face.

"What do you need me to do?" Edmund asked. He had come running at the alarm as well and was staring at Susan, anger radiating off him. She stirred slightly in Caspian's arms and he stroked her hair, murmuring something quietly in her ear.

"Go to the forest with your army. About a day's ride west of here there is a group of about fifteen men in a camp. They are Telmarin." Peter glanced at Caspian, who ignored him. "Kill them all."

Lucy gasped at his harsh words but Edmund only nodded, turning away and calling his men to arms. Peter glared at her, daring her to object to his ruling, but Lucy said nothing. She was unhappy to hear of bloodshed and violence, but she put the matter from her mind, focusing on her sister once more.

"Come on Caspian, the medical wing is prepared for her arrival." She said, leading the heartbroken young king towards the place that could alleviate his love's pain.

* * *

Susan came back to herself slowly. She wasn't sure where she was and her initial response was fear. Was she still in the hands of those horrible men? She had thought Caspian and Peter had rescued her, but what if it had been a dream? Opening her eyes hesitantly, she breathed a sigh of relief when she looked around and recognized the medical wing of the castle.

Moving around a bit, she was pleased to realize that her wrist was already in a splint and her hand had been bandaged. It still throbbed constantly, but it was bearable. Her back felt numb and she could feel the bandaged wrapped around her torso, so she stopped moving, worried about injuring herself further.

Looking around a bit more, she smiled when she recognized Caspian's cloak slung over a nearby chair and a book propped open on the seat. She wondered where he had gone, but didn't worry about it, knowing he would be back soon to check on her.

Her eyes swung to the door as it opened, smiling at the nurse who entered with a mug of what smelled like herbs.

"Oh thank Aslan you're awake!" She cried, rushing to Susan's side and setting the medicine on a nearby table. "We were beginning to worry my queen." She said, bowing slightly.

Susan smiled. "Yes, I'm alright. Thank you for your care."

The woman smiled at her, but then her expression turned serious. "My queen, what was done to you was…" She shuddered. "…horrible. Please tell me, are you in any pain?"

"No, my back feels fine and my wrist throbs a bit but its okay." She replied.

"And what about…" The nurse gestured towards her lap.

Susan blinked at her. How did they know she was raped? Did Caspian know? Horror raced through her and it must have shown on her face because the nurse quickly put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Oh my dear, I'm so sorry to have upset you. Of course you are traumatized by it all—shall I fetch your husband? I sent him to find some dinner poor dear hasn't eaten in days…" She babbled, standing.

"NO!" Susan shouted, grabbing her arm. The nurse looked startled and sat back down, looking at her strangely.

"You don't want me to get the king?" She asked quietly.

Susan smiled weakly, trying to reassure her. "Of course, but first—does he know of my…violation?" She asked quietly, eying the door.

"No ma'am. I saw you were violated when I was cleaning you up after he brought you in—that was two days ago now—and didn't say anything to the king yet because I thought I should wait until you were better." She said gently.

Susan sighed with relief. "Good. Please, I must have your promise that you and anyone else who knows of this will not tell the king or anyone else." She said seriously.

The nurse blinked at her a moment. "But my queen, how can we not tell him, surly he will find out—"

"I will tell him in my own time." Susan said, cutting her off. "I don't want him to hear about it right now." The nurse still looked unsure so she grabbed her hand, wincing as her bandages pulled. "Please. Woman to woman, I'm begging you to let me tell him when I'm ready."

The nurse nodded quietly at Susan's serious stare. "I promise."

Susan smiled and leaned back with a sigh of relief. Thank Aslan. Caspian wouldn't have to know what they had done to her. It was obvious that he and Peter knew about her whipping, she shuddered at the painful memory of waking up in the woods to pain as they tried to wash the dirt and grim from her wounds. But at least he would have one less worry. One less thing to blame himself for.

"Susan!" Caspian's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she turned towards the door, smiling and holding out her arms to him. He rushed to her side, embracing her gently. She closed her eyes in relief as she felt his arms wrap around her. Over his shoulder she watched the nurse quietly exit and prayed she would keep her promise.

"My darling, are you feeling okay? You were asleep for so long we were beginning to worry…" Caspian said, pulling away from her gently. She smiled at his concern and wiped the few tears that had escaped his eyes away. He smiled ruefully at her, unashamed of his obvious concern.

"I'm fine my love. I little sore, but I'll mend quickly. " She said, leaning back on the pillows as he returned to his bedside chair, keeping hold of her hand.

He nodded, and then frowned. "I'm so sorry about what happened to you Susan. I should have-"

"Stop right there Caspian." She cut him off, holding up a hand. "In no way was this you fault, my love. It was just chance that I was riding in the woods and they captured me. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this."

"I should have been with you." He replied, grumpily.

"Darling, you may have been killed like that poor guard and I would have been captured anyway—there were too many of them."

"I doubt it." He said, folding his arms and pouting slightly.

She smiled. "Really Caspian, I am well and those men are gone I assume?" She questioned a little fearfully.

"Yes. Peter sent Edmund and about a hundred men to take care of them. They will never harm you again my love." He smiled, taking her hand once more. "You should drink this medicine—it will help you heal." He pushed the mud of herbs into her other hand.

She smiled at him as she took it, drinking down the bitter concoction before laying back down with him by her side, both content in the silence.

As she drifted off to sleep again, her thoughts turned lighter as it sunk in that she was home and safe. Everything had worked out. She was saved with some of her dignity intact, Caspian didn't know of her violation and therefore couldn't blame himself, and she had escaped relatively unscathed. She had been sufficiently strong. She would heal. She was sure of it.

* * *

Please review! Note: This story is not complete yet-I'll mark it COMPLETE in the summary when its over. ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Chapter 5

Susan sighed as she stared at her naked body in the mirror. The bandages on her hand and back had been removed_. To let the wounds air. _The physician had said, although the splint on her wrist remained. She frowned at the dark bruises marring her breasts and ribs, some yellowing as they slowly faded. Turning, she grimaced at the marks on her back—crusted blood and pink inflammation standing out brightly. She was supposed to be bathing but she couldn't resist getting a good look at herself first. Just to survey the damage with her own eyes.

Stepping into the bath, she sniffed and brushed away the escaping tears. Why was she so upset? Yes, what had happened was horrible, but she was stronger than this. She had been rescued. Her captors punished and made incapable of hurting her again. So why couldn't she stop crying?

"Su, are you alright in there?" Lucy's worried voice rang through the bathroom door.

Jumping slightly in surprise Susan quickly replied, "Yes, I'm fine!" Worried her sister would come in and see her crying.

She could almost hear Lucy's skeptical look. "Are you sure? Do you need help?"

Had she really been sobbing that loudly? "No thank you, I'm really alright—I'll be out in just a minute." She called, hastily beginning to wash herself while minding her wounds.

She heard Lucy's footsteps fade away, but she knew she would be waiting for her in the bedroom. She had refused all assistance with her bath, feigning shyness when in truth she simply didn't want anyone to see what had been done to her. So far only the physician and nurses knew the full extent of her injuries, but she had managed to swear them all to silence despite Caspian's pestering questions about her condition. Somehow she knew that they were taking her side because of her violation—understanding the delicate situation she was in and probably assuming she would break down at any discussion of the matter. It didn't matter to her what they thought however, just so long as Caspian didn't know…

* * *

"So, how is she?" Peter asked gently.

Caspian sighed before looking up from his paperwork, weary eyes meeting his brother's. "Her wounds are slowly healing and she seems fine, but I cannot help but to think that she is not." He said, frowning.

"Any idea what's wrong?" Peter asked, sitting in a low armchair nearby.

Caspian frowned again. "I'm not sure. It may just be that she is quite rattled by the whole experience and needs some time. She certainly seems to be putting up an amazing effort to seem 'okay' and back to her old self, even though we only recovered her five days ago."

Peter nodded. "Perhaps I should speak to her?"

Caspian thought a moment, staring out the window. "I hate the idea that she may need to talk and doesn't want to come to me." He said, a hurt expression on his face.

"Caspian, I'm sure that she wants to talk to you about whatever's going on—maybe she's just not ready."

"Perhaps. If you can get her to speak with you…" He paused, sighing. "I would be very appreciative. I hate seeing her so down and working so hard to hide it."

Standing, Peter nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you." Caspian said, watching Peter walk out the door. What was going on with his love? Of course he expected her to be upset about her ordeal, but she had hardly even commented on it. She walked around the castle in a daze, jumping at the slightest sounds and barely making eye contact with anyone. And she certainly wouldn't talk to him about it—whenever he asked if she was alright: _I'm_ _fine darling, just pensive today_. Or: _Just a bit sleepy dear, nothing to worry about._ Caspian sighed and turned back to his paperwork—maybe Peter would have better luck…

* * *

Edmund had spent most of the council meeting staring subtly at his older sister. Her demeanor had changed so dramatically since her capture and rescue although she tried to hide it. She sat perfectly still, her hands clasped in front of her, saying nothing throughout the whole meeting.

Glancing at his siblings, none of them seemed to notice the way she sat, staring at nothing, barely acknowledging when people spoke to her. Grinning ruefully, he realized that the council members were probably happy that his usually outspoken sister remained quiet this meeting. But her silence was precisely why Edmund thought something was wrong.

There was something about her—something that Edmund just didn't like. He was never one to talk much, or share his feelings a lot even with his siblings, but he had always been very observant. Right now he was observing that something was wrong with Susan. She seemed uncomfortable for some reason, sitting where she always sat between two councilmen from the Western border.

He barely acknowledged that Caspian had adjourned the meeting, watching as Susan stood from her chair, refusing the hand that the man beside her offered in assistance. Frowning, he watched as two council members walked over to her and began speaking with her, only to have her shake her head a bit wildly, holding up her hands while backing away and retreating out the door quickly as the men stared after her.

What was wrong with her? She was acting as skittish as a new horse. Edmund sighed as he rose from his chair, nodding to Peter and Lucy as he watched Caspian chase after his wife.

* * *

Startled, Susan glanced up sharply from her book as Peter approached her. Blinking, she tried to cover her reaction with a smile, hoping he didn't notice how nervous she was. Why was she feeling so anxious these days?

"Hello Peter."

"Susan, we need to talk." He said, sitting beside her.

Setting down her book, Susan turned to face him, dread filling her at his serious expression.

"Susan…" He said, grabbing her unwounded hand gently and looking into her eyes earnestly. "What's wrong?"

She blinked at him briefly before smiling. "Nothing is wrong Peter."

Robotic. He rolled his eyes in frustration. "Susan, it's okay if your upset about what happened—it's normal. Please talk to me?" He implored gently.

She smiled again, sadly now. "Yes Peter I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okay, really. I just need to get back into my normal routine for a bit and I'll be perfectly fine. Please don't worry about me. "

"Caspian is worried too. He says you won't speak to him although he can tell that something is wrong."

"I didn't mean to hurt him Peter, I just … don't want to talk about it right now." She sighed, looking at her feet. Was she hurting Caspian with her silence? She thought she was protecting him…

"Please Susan, promise me that you'll talk to Caspian or myself, or someone when you can." He spoke gently, hoping, praying that she would open up to someone.

"Peter—"

"Promise me Susan. This isn't something to take lightly. You need to talk about what happened." He told her, putting on his stern big-brother face.

"Alright, I promise." She whispered frowning as tears pricked her eyes. What was with the tears? How she hated her emotions right now. Why couldn't she keep them in check? "Please—can I just be alone for a bit?"

"Of course." Peter said, hugging her gently. "I love you Su."

"I love you too Peter." She said, watching as he walked away before covering her face with her hands and dissolving into tears.

* * *

"Love, please tell me what's wrong?" Caspian whispered, playing with a piece of her hair. They lay together in their bed, listening to the pattern of rain outside as it lashed at the windows.

Susan turned to him slowly, smiling gently. "I'm fine Caspian, just a little tired today."

He frowned at her and propped himself up on an elbow to get a better look at her face. "Susan please don't feed me that—I can tell that there is something wrong. Is it something I did?"

"No! Of course not—" She said, pausing. What would she tell him? That she was tired? That she was lost in thought? That nothing was wrong, she was fine? She had been telling him those things for days and he certainly didn't seem to believe her. The only other thing she could think of was to distract him.

Smiling, she pulling him towards her gently.

"I've missed you lately, my love." She whispered in his ear, grinning as he sighed, her arms wrapping around his bare shoulders.

He smiled down at her. He knew that look. "I've missed you too…" He said, gently kissing her. Pulling away slightly, "Are you sure you're feeling well enough?" He didn't want to hurt her…

Susan smiled at his concern. Always the gentleman. "I'm fine darling, just go easy…" She kissed him again, burrowing her hands in his thick hair.

He moaned into her mouth, hands gently cupping her face as his kisses became more urgent. She smiled, having been missing his touch, his kisses, and his hunger. He reached for her nightdress and she grabbed his hand, not ready for him to see her bruises just yet.

"Leave it on tonight." She whispered seductively and he smiled. Sometimes she was shy…he liked that…

Kissing her passionately again, his hands stroked gently down her sides past her breasts, down her ribcage, and across her abdomen to rest on her hips. Whispering beautiful words in her ear, he moved on top of her—and Susan's heart stopped.

Panic raced through her as he gently settled his weight on her. He held himself up by his arms, but his hips and legs had her pinned and she was suddenly afraid. Why? Why should she be afraid? She asked herself as he continued kissing his way down her neck and across her collarbone. Letting out a shaking breath she stroked his arms slowly, encouraging him to continue even as she warred with herself. This was Caspian. Her husband—he would never hurt her. She wasn't afraid of him. So why, why did she suddenly feel as though she couldn't breathe?

Memories of unknown faces moving above her came to mind and the panic flared up in her stronger than before and her chest heaved as she tried to draw a breath. She felt Caspian pause, look up at her—but she didn't pay him any mind. Fear, all-consuming had struck her and she stared at the ceiling with wide eyes, her breath becoming faster and faster as she tried to draw in enough air.

"Love?" Caspian asked, confused as he stared down at his wife. Her face was white as snow and she stared above her, her chest rising and falling quickly. Hearing her labored breathing, panic gripped him. "Susan what's wrong?" He cried.

"I—I can't breathe!" She whispered, chest heaving faster than before as sweat started to trickle down her face. Suddenly, she began pushing at his chest, the need to get away foremost in her mind.

Caspian gave way immediately, moving to the side as she flailed out of the bed, nearly falling and raced into the bathroom, eyes wide, chest heaving, tears beginning to run down her face.

Slamming the door shut behind her, Susan fell to the ground and leaned against the wall, listening as Caspian yelled for the physician and began pounding on the door in panic, calling her name. Gasping, she wept as horror swept through her. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe! Darkness crept into her vision as Caspian violently broke down the door, looking wildly around for her. She blinked up at him through her tears and cried out. She was scared, oh Aslan she was so scared.

He reached for her—and then there was only darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Chapter 6

Susan came to herself slowly. Her mind was foggy, her eyes still closed against the light. Voices murmured around her and she felt someone holding her hand. She focused on that hand—it was large and warm, roughly calloused. Caspian? Probably. Listening closely, she tried to figure out who was speaking…

"…panic attack."

"What about her saying she couldn't breathe?"

That was definitely Caspian. She would recognize his voice anywhere, his gorgeous accent adding a beautiful lilt to his words. Gods she loved him. She would do anything, anything to protect him—to keep him happy. It was her job as Queen and as his wife to make his life happier, easier, whenever she could. She believed that wholeheartedly.

"Could she have been hyperventilating?"

Edmund—the strong, silent one of the group. He never shared his feelings with them, well only rarely, preferring to stay in the background watching others interact. She knew he was too observant to have missed her strange behavior lately—no matter how hard she tried to act normal. Frustration at her shoddy acting skills filled her briefly. Why hadn't he said anything? She didn't know, but she was grateful.

"I'm afraid that I'm not familiar with that term my king, but I can most definitely say that she will be alright. She had some sort of attack—fear, panic, whatever you want to call it."

That must be the physician. What was his name again? She was reminded of the secret he kept for her and suddenly she wanted to thank him.

Blinking her eyes open, she winced at the harsh light. Caspian was above her, his handsome face turned towards the others as they conversed.

"Caspian…what happened?" She finally whispered, drawing his attention.

He turned to her, smiling when his eyes met hers. "Hello darling, how are you feeling?"

"Alright…but what happened?" She said sitting up slowly, his arm supporting her back.

"Su, we think you had a panic attack and hyperventilated—you fainted." Peter said, stepping up to the bed where she lay.

She blinked at him, letting his words sink in. A panic attack? But she didn't panic, she didn't get anxious, she was calm and collected all the time. True, lately she had been feeling very nervous, but she really didn't think she was the type of person to have an all-out panic attack. The hyperventilating sounded right … she shuddered. She never wanted to feel that way again.

Blinking into the light she looked around at her smiling at her siblings gathered around the bed, the physician to her right as Caspian sat on the bed to her left, staring at her intently and gripping her hand. Were they all so worried over her? She suddenly felt warm, both from appreciation for their concern and embarrassment at their attentions. Her initial thought was to make light of the whole episode, but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

"Your Majesty…" The physician asked, drawing her attention. "Do you remember what happened before you began…" He waved his hand, still unsure of the terminology the kings and queens of old were using.

"Darling, did I…?" Caspian whispered, trailing off and looking away from her eyes as if ashamed.

She frowned at him, not liking the guilty look on his face. Why did he always assume he had done something wrong? This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid…

"No Caspian, you didn't do anything wrong—doctor, I'm not sure what triggered it." Susan sighed, trying to remember, her mind foggy.

"I'm sorry my Queen, but you must try to remember what happened so that we can take precautions not to let this happen again. Episodes like this aren't usually life threatening but they are frightening, painful and a tremendous strain on the heart." The physician said kindly.

"Well we were in here…" Susan blushed, glancing at Caspian, but there was no trace of embarrassment in his face, just concern. "…and I suddenly became afraid and then I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was smothering."

She watched helplessly as Caspian paled.

"What were you afraid of?" Edmund asked gently.

"I'm not sure…"

"Was it me?" Caspian whispered, trying to pull his hand away.

She gripped it tightly, refusing to let him go, her mind screaming at her to comfort him.

"No, Caspian. Let me assure you I was not afraid of you—I know you would never hurt me." She smiled at him gently and to her relief he slowly returned the expression.

"Is there anything else you remember?" Lucy asked, speaking for the first time. She was looking at Susan closely, eyeing her like she saw something the others did not.

Susan thought for a moment and suddenly remembered. She remembered the panic that had set in when Caspian was on top of her, the way she felt trapped, pinned underneath him. She remembered the faces she thought of—all those men. She remembered the pain and feeling helpless in that tent as they brutally violated her again and again…

"Woah Susan, relax honey." Caspian grabbed her shoulders gently, pressing her to lay down again. She took a deep breath, realizing that she had begun breathing fast and shallow again, her heart racing. Her family watched silently as she tried to get herself under control.

"Maybe we should talk about this later." Lucy said, smiling at Susan. "This is probably a bit of a strain."

"She's right. Let us know if you remember anything else my Queen. You will be alright now, but I would advise staying in bed today. You must not do anything that will make you anxious or worried." The physician said, turning to leave the room with Lucy.

Kissing her head softly, Peter and then Edmund left the room as well, promising to visit later in the day.

She sighed into the suddenly quiet and nearly empty room. Caspian lay down next to her, propping himself up on an elbow and slowly stroking her hair. Smiling in contentment, she closed her eyes.

Staring down at his beautiful wife Caspian copied her sigh, finally relaxing a bit as the panic and fear of the last hour slowly dissipated. He wanted to ask her more about what had happened, but he knew now wasn't the time. She needed to rest and clearly she was still susceptible to this panic attack the others had spoken of.

But as he watched her slowly fall asleep, he knew that he would have to get to the bottom of this. He frowned when he thought about her fear; he didn't understand how she could become afraid when he touched her, yet claim that it wasn't anything he had done. Stroking her hair as he rested beside her, he just couldn't shake the guilt gnawing at his stomach.

* * *

She had finally gotten around to mending his shirts. Finally gotten away from her husband and siblings, all worried and gentle, trying to help her with every little task, making sure she didn't strain herself. They were so worried about her. Why couldn't they just accept that she was okay and forget about her panic attack? Caspian had all but tried to cut up her meat for her at dinner.

Rolling her eyes at the memory she sighed, smiling lightly as she picked up her sewing kit and the first shirt. She was looking forward to getting things back to normal—to taking care of business like she had before…

Frowning, she tried again to grasp the needle and thread, frustration slowly building when she couldn't get her wounded hand to work properly. She knew she had gotten some nerve damage with that arrow through her palm, but this was ridiculous.

Speaking of ridiculous, she thought again of her siblings and Caspian. They were treating her differently now. Like she was sick or would break into pieces with a stiff breeze. She was still Susan and she was strong enough to deal with this. She didn't need them coddling her…

Growling her growing frustration, Susan tried a different angle for holding the needle as she tried to thread it.

And what was worse, Caspian was still acting guilty. He would barely touch her now; probably worried that he would send her off the deep end again. Every time she tried to kiss him or hold his hand he tolerated it, but shrugged away from her as soon as possible. A thought struck her. Did he suspect? Did he somehow know she had been raped? She had been sure that he wouldn't blame her, but what if she was wrong? What if he knew and was now disgusted with her?

Tears spilled over her cheeks at the painful thought. There goes my damn emotions again. Something was building, a pressure inside her head and her heart. Her tears of sorrow turned to anger as she struggled to thread the stupid needle to mend his stupid shirts. Why was it so hard for her? Why couldn't she just hold the needle steady?

She glared down at her trembling hands, feeling the healing wound stretch as she flexed her palm experimentally. Her anger was growing, growing and she felt nearly helpless in its wake. If she hadn't gone riding…if those horrible men hadn't kidnapped her…damn it! She should be able to handle this! If she had only been stronger!

Crying out in frustration, she violently threw his shirt and the kit across the room and turned towards the door, needing to get away and to calm down. She stopped short when saw Lucy staring at her.

"Oh, Lucy. I—I didn't see you there." She stuttered, hastily wiping the tears from her face. How much had she seen?

"Susan, what's going on?" Lucy asked gently, coming into the room and shutting the door.

Susan smiling weakly, shrugging as she bent to pick up Caspian's shirt and the sewing kit. "Hah, I guess I just got a little frustrated…"

"That's not like you Susan." Lucy said, moving to help her.

She blinked at her younger sister, staring into eyes that had seen much and grown into adulthood not long ago.

"I'm sorry Lu." She whispered. "It's just that I should be able to do a simple task like mending my husband's shirts, but this blasted wound…"

"It's alright Susan. Why are you so eager to mend his shirts? Can't it wait a bit? Or what if I do it for you—"

"No!" Susan cut her off sharply. "This is my job, I will do it! I don't need help!"

Lucy stared at her briefly, shocked at her outburst. Susan almost never lost her temper. "Sorry Su. I'll leave you alone then." She rose, walking to the door.

"Lucy—" She turned at her sister's voice. "I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling myself today."

Lucy smiled at her, nodding as she exited the room. She knew she hadn't been herself in quite a while.

* * *

That night she began having nightmares. She remembered being tired and telling Caspian that she was heading to bed early. He had smiled and given her a quick kiss, promising to join her shortly.

The room was dark, so pitch black that she could barely see the outline of their bed, the wardrobe, the chair…

Falling into bed, she had been asleep in an instant. Just an instant before terror overtook her.

She was screaming before her eyes opened, made out the dark shape of a man standing above her. She screamed and screamed and screamed, her heat pounding out of control, her thoughts loose on the wind as sheer terror welled up.

And when they brought torches, fire to light the darkness and she saw her husband above her, his arms reaching out to hold her, to comfort her; she still couldn't stop her screaming.

* * *

Caspian bid goodnight to Peter and Edmund at their bedroom door, walking inside quietly so as not to wake her. It was very dark in the room, but he could just make out her soft outline on the bed.

Smiling, he removed his shirt and walked quietly near her, ready for rest and sleep when suddenly she screamed. Surprise and panic overtook him as she screamed endlessly; he watched her figure shy away from him, holding her arms before her in defense as he reached to comfort her in the darkness.

Peter and Edmund burst through the door, having been in the hallway finishing a conversation, bearing torches to light their room. He saw her face in the flickering light, pale and sweaty with fear; her eyes wide and he swore he could hear her heart beating out of her chest. She looked at him and recognition registered in her eyes, but still she screamed. An agonizing, terrified scream that broke his heart and wounded his soul.

Reaching for her gently, he took her in his arms as she finally stopping shrieking, tears flowing down her face as she hyperventilated in his arms, moaning and sobbing her terror into his chest.

* * *

Caspian, Peter and Edmund were in the library, poring over some paperwork. Or rather, that's what they were supposed to be doing. In reality they were all thinking about Susan.

"I just don't understand what's going on with her." Edmund said, leaning back in his chair.

Caspian shook his head and said nothing. Guilt gnawed at him. Although he wasn't exactly sure what he could have done to cause this he still felt like it was somehow his fault.

"I do." They looked up as Lucy entered the room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She looked nervous and sad, and Caspian's heart lurched at her words.

"What do you mean? You know what's wrong with her?" Peter asked, leaning forward expectantly.

Lucy looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Listen I wouldn't say anything, I would let her handle it herself, talk when she's ready, but she's getting worse. She needs help."

Caspian stood, walking over to his wife's only sister. "Please Lucy, if you know something you must tell us. It breaks my heart to see her so distraught."

"Okay, but you must all swear to me that you won't do anything rash. We have to handle this very delicately—"

"Just tell us Lu." Edmund interrupted, impatient to know what had hurt his sister so he could destroy it.

She glared at him, and then her expression turned solemn again. She was so not ready to say this…

"I may be wrong, although I'm fairly sure I'm not but Su is acting like …" She babbled trailing off, looking uncomfortable again, like she didn't want to say what she needed to.

"Please Lucy." Caspian said again, pulling her into a chair next to him.

Lucy looked at him, staring into his forlorn yet hopeful eyes briefly before taking a deep breath.

"I think Susan was raped."

* * *

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Strong Towers Tumbling**

Chapter 7

_"I think Susan was raped."_

Caspian blinked at Lucy for what seemed like an eternity, disbelief washing over him. I couldn't be true, could it? How could his beautiful, gentle wife be violated in such a way? It was unthinkable, horrible, unimaginable—

Something crashed violently, breaking Caspian from his thoughts.

"Edmund stop!" Lucy cried, dashing to the door and bracing herself in front of it, staring up defiantly at her furious brother.

"Don't tell me what to do, Lucy!" He yelled, trying to move her away.

"You can't! Think about how she'll feel when she finds out we know!" Lucy cried.

"I don't care! She should have told us! We should have hung those bastards from the castle gates for what they did to her!" Edmund screamed, moving to dislodge her from the door once more.

"I told you we must handle this delicately! Do you really think she'll react well when she finds out we know, after she's worked so hard to conceal it?" Lucy shouted, fighting to push him back as he lunged for the door handle once more.

Caspian watched as Peter joined the fray, pulling Edmund away from the door, gripping him tightly and whispering words Caspian couldn't hear in his ear. Edmund calmed slightly, his expression changing briefly to sorrow, but then he spun away from his brother and proceeded to smash everything in sight, trembling with rage.

Caspian watching all this in a daze, sniffing slightly. He blinked as he realized tears were running down his face in a steady stream. Why was he crying? This wasn't something to cry over—it wasn't true. It couldn't be true…

"Caspain"

Peter was suddenly there, sitting beside him and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. Lucy stood next to him, brown eyes darting between the slowly weeping king of Narnia and her errant brother who was still tearing apart the other side of the room.

Caspian blinked up at Peter's mournful eyes. Eyes that believed what Lucy had said and were sorry, were so, so sorry. He looked up at a man whose sorrow was worn on his face, unashamed, the knowledge of her violation plainly written there.

Caspian couldn't continue to look at Peter's horrified expression—he broke.

His young face crumbled as tears overwhelmed him, clogging his throat and screaming through his ears. A pressure was building in him, a throbbing behind his eyes and in his chest, building until he thought he might explode. Placing a shaking hand over his eyes, he made a feeble attempt to hide his tears, and moaned in despair.

Lucy shuttered at his moan—it was desperate, the cry of a man whose sorrow couldn't be contained or expressed through tears.

A second anguished cry split the air and Peter reached out, tightly embracing the king. He held him tightly against his chest as Caspian's shoulders jerked with his sobs and his eyes bled with tears so heavy Peter felt their wetness through his coat almost immediately.

Lucy cried then too—she had never seen her brother-in-law shed a tear, but his heart-wrenching sobs loosened her emotions and she joined her brothers in their mourning.

Finally Edmund joined them, his rage subsiding as he heard and saw his family's sorrow, embracing them all together around Caspian as he cried, choking on his horror.

Peter wasn't sure how long they sat there and cried together. Caspian's sobs were eventually reduced to shuttering breaths and limp exhaustion. He watched as the man he considered a true brother in everything but blood unlatched himself from the group, walking shakily to the window where he took deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

"Where do we go from here?" He whispered quietly, for once having no experience or knowledge of what to do next.

Lucy rubbed her eyes furiously and stood, taking a deep breath. "I think we will need to confront her, gently, of course."

"Are you _sure_, Lucy?" Edmund whispered, some feeble hope still glimmering in his eyes.

Lucy looked sadly at her brother. "Edmund, I have lived as the child you see before you now, but was once a full grown woman. I remember the stories other women told, I remember seeing the aftermath of brutality like this. I should have seen the signs earlier—I should have said something sooner…" She trailed off sadly as Peter placed an arm around her shoulders.

Edmund nodded. His sister was right and he knew it. They all knew it now that she had spoken those words they didn't want to hear, didn't want to consider, much less accept. It made so much sense now, and he cursed the cowardice in his denial.

Caspian turned and walked back to them, sitting in a chair and releasing a deep, shuttering sigh.

"Please Lucy—you would know more than any of us how to handle this. Please tell me how to comfort her." He whispered, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over again.

"I'll do my best Caspian, but I'm no expert." Lucy said sighing as they all sat down again.

"You said we should confront her—but you restrained Edmund from going to see her right away." Peter asked curiously.

Lucy nodded. "Yes. We must speak to her about it—otherwise she will try to continue to act like nothing is wrong. But we shouldn't go to her angry and we can't overwhelm her either. Perhaps it would be best if Caspian and I spoke to her about it first."

Edmund opened his mouth to protest but it died in his throat when Peter glared at him.

"It's not because I think you can't handle it Edmund," she said, glancing at him "I don't think she could handle her brothers' knowing right now. Honestly, I don't think she can handle Caspian knowing, but I believe it's necessary at this point."

"Why do you say that?" Caspian asked, hurt.

Lucy sighed. "Caspian," she paused "I love you. We all do, but Susan loves you more than anything else." Caspian smiled slightly in spite of himself.

"But in this case, that's a bit of a problem." He frowned in confusion.

"Caspian—you have a tendency to blame yourself for things that aren't your fault." She whispered, staring at him intently.

He shifted uncomfortably under her stare, still not understanding what she meant.

"Susan is hiding this from you because she knows you will blame yourself—even as you are now."

He blinked, shocked at her words. "But it is my fault! I should never have let her go without me! I should have found her sooner! I—"

Lucy cut him off, sad to see his tears returning to the surface again. "But that's just it Caspian—it wasn't your fault."

She took his hand as he bent his head, struggling to regain his lost composure. "You know that, deep inside. And the longer you blame yourself, the longer Susan will suffer. She won't admit to this knowing that it will hurt you."

Caspian sniffed, pondering her quiet words. He knew sometimes he blamed himself for things that weren't his fault; it was a struggle for him. Was he truly hurting her?

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" He whispered.

"I have many times felt guilty over events my siblings have gone through that have nothing to do with me." Peter said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder in support. "It is because we love them, Caspian. But you must not let you guilt stop you from being there for her—you must set it aside."

Caspian paused, thinking over his words. Were his guilty feelings truly hurting her? How could he stop feeling guilty? It seemed impossible to stop these feelings … but whatever the cost, he would do it for her.

"You are right; I must be strong for her."

* * *

They found her in the library. Her favorite haunt indoors. Caspian almost regretted that they had to do this here, now. He feared that he would forever associate this place with her pain now.

Susan blinked up at her husband and sister where they stood in the doorway. Her ready smile fading at the somber looks on their faces.

"What is it? What's happened?" She asked, concerned.

They stepped into the room as she stood and Lucy softly closed the door while Caspian just stared at her, his eyes blinking back tears.

"Please tell me what's going on? What has happened?" Susan cried, worried at the look on their faces.

"Nothing is wrong, Susan." Lucy whispered. "We just need to talk."

"Oh." Susan sat down again, relieved, watching as they seated themselves. Caspian reached out a hand and took hers, staring into her eyes with sincere love and worry.

Susan knew what was going on. They were going to ask what was wrong with her, why she was so quite. What would she tell them? What excuse could she possible come up with this time? Maybe if she—

"Susan, we know what happened." Lucy whispered, breaking into her train of thought.

She blinked, shocked. "W-What do you mean?" She smiled, hoping they missed her slight stuttering.

"We know, my love…" Caspian whispered, looking up at her with sorrowful eyes. "…we know that you were raped."

Susan gaped at him, her mind racing. How could they possibly know? What had she done wrong? Could he smell their filth on her?

"You know we love you, Susan. We're not judging you, we just want to help y—"

"No."

Caspian blinked at her hard features as Lucy sighed, knowing she would deny it.

"It's not true." Susan pulled her hand from Caspian's, crossing her arms in front of her and turning her face to the window defiantly.

"Susan, please don't try to deny it. We know—" Lucy blinked in surprise as Susan abruptly stood, knocking over a pile of books, sending them crashing to the ground.

"You don't know anything!" She screamed at her. Susan paused, shock registering on her face at her outburst. "I'm sorry Lucy…I don't know what's come over me…"

Caspian stood, intercepting her as she headed for the door and turning her to face him. "Susan please." He whispered brokenly. "Please tell us the truth."

Susan stared at him for a moment, lost in his sad eyes. Her thoughts raced but she couldn't grasp on to any more excuses, any more denials. Not when he was staring at her like that.

"I can't." She whispered, tears welling up slowly. She wiped them away quickly, some small part of her still trying to deny what was happening.

If possible, his eyes grew sadder. Hurt and guilt flashed across his face briefly, only to be replaced by determination and love. Susan barely registered Lucy walking quietly from the room. All she could see was his eyes, tears brimming at the surface.

"Say it Susan. Tell me what they did to you." He whispered, pulling her slowly closer.

Susan panicked for a moment, his strong arms bringing her closer frightened her briefly. Struggling to control her breathing, she reminded herself that it was him and he would not hurt her.

"Please Caspain." She begged, unable to look away from him.

"I cannot bear to see you this way." A tear slid down his cheek, breaking her tenuous hold on her emotions.

"I…I didn't mean for it to happen! There were so many of them I just couldn't stop them!" She cried as he pulled her tightly to him, crushing her against his frame.

She sobbed brokenly as he whispered soft words of comfort in her ear, crying harder at the feel of his tears trickling through her hair.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Caspian!" She cried, true regret seeping through her as he pulled away.

"No, Susan, this isn't your fault. There is no need to apologize." His tear-stained face was close to hers, gentle eyes reassuring.

"But I—"

"No!" He shook her shoulders gently, eyes boring into hers. "I don't ever want you to apologize for this again. It was not your fault."

She nodded slightly, crying harder and he wrapped his arms around her tightly again, absorbing her tears with his shirt.

"I thought maybe you wouldn't want me anymore…that you would be ashamed of me." She sobbed, fisting the soft material he wore as she waited for his reply.

Caspian growled at her words. "Susan, that is absurd. Why would you think that? Have I ever given you cause to believe I would feel that way before?"

She cowered slightly at his words and he sighed, speaking tenderly to her once more. "I love you—that will never change, no matter what happens to you."

She nodded weakly, her tears slowing slightly as relished the feel of his arms. How long had it been since she'd relaxing in his grip? Not worrying whether he would discover her secret and pull away?

"I should be the one apologizing." He suddenly whispered.

Susan paused, pulling away to look up at him. "This isn't your fault either! Please don't blame yourself! That's the last thing I want."

"I know it's not my fault this happened to you darling." He said softly.

Susan blinked at him curiously. "Then what could you possibly have to be sorry about?"

Caspian smiled slightly at her, running his fingers through her hair. "I am sorry because my overactive feelings of guilt have caused you to hide this from me, when I should have been the one you came to for comfort."

She shook her head, but he held up a hand.

"Please Susan. I know you hid this from me because you knew I would blame myself. I know you love me too much to want that for me."

"I didn't want you to hurt…" She whispered, looking down.

"If you have been hurt, then I will hurt too. There is nothing that can be done about that. What we can do is take care of each other." He whispered, using a finger to lift her chin and find her eyes. "Promise me that you will never hide your pain from me again?"

She nodded, love welling up within her for his understanding.


End file.
